Someone I Love Went To Madagascar

...and I did NOT get a lousy t-shirt. Instead, I got a lot of this:



Yes indeed. It is true vanilla. The still-in-the-bean kind. I'm so excited. They didn't come from a tourist area, they came from a real live Madagascarian grocery store. So they have to be good, right? They smell kind of like vanilla + campfire. I hope that's okay.

There are all sorts of lovely recipes over at food network. Like vanilla sugar and creme brule. I can't wait to get baking, but my knives are "in da shop". That is, they are being sharpened at Sur La Table. So I won't be slicing open any beans until they come back.

I also got a pink sapphire, but you can't make ice cream out of that.

100th Day of School

The 100th day of school. I really would not have thought to mark such an event, but apparently it is a big deal to some teachers. One of the little people came home with this assignment on a Friday: create a collection of 100 things and bring it to school on the following Monday.

My idea was for our whole family to chew various colors of gum all weekend long and then arrange the pieces of chewed gum in the shape of a big 100. On an artfully painted canvas, of course. And I would spray it with some sort of glossy stuff to keep all the germs from escaping.

This idea was scoffed at by my sister (who, being a 2nd grade teacher, is somewhat of an authority on the 100th day of school projects. And already-chewed gum). She ran it by her other 2nd grade teacher friends and they all agreed that, if a student of theirs came to school with such a project, they would make fun of the parent behind her back.

I really liked this chewed gum idea. Yes, it was a bit unorthodox, but it's not like it was a collection of 100 Heineken bottle caps. Right? Anyhow, the little critter and I came up with this idea instead. 100 sums of 100. Very nerdy. It simply does not have the street cred that already-chewed gum would have. Or Heineken bottle caps.

Mama Needs a New Pair of Shoes

I know I'm late to the party on this whole ballet-flat/mary-jane combination but I've always been a little slow on the uptake. And sometimes, if you wait a very long time then you can get them on the clearance rack at DSW (that's like the clearance squared...shoes in the clearance section of a clearance store)...for $25.

I love my new shoes. I have not had black flats since I threw away a rather mangy pair last summer. Black flats just opens up a whole new part of my wardrobe. Like pants that I have shrunk and can no longer wear with heels. I brought all my peeps with me to buy my new shoes. They were very helpful. And funny. Like when my 7 yo came up to me and said, "MOM! There are shoes here that cost TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS!!". I got such a laugh out of that one. I better not bring him near any stores that carry Jimmy Choo or Manolo Blahnik (as if!) or the kid will have a heart attack.

The Things You Can't Grow at My House

Hello, plastic wheatgrass!

It's fun to imagine that, if you were real, I would have you for breakfast. Yes, I would toss you and your friends into a blender in the morning and drink you, shot-like, for breakfast. Like they do on all those infomercials that are on HGTV way early in the morning.

But alas, i choose to stick with espresso. And not necessarily because I think your grassiness would gag me (it would), but I think I would get a nosebleed harvesting you every day. Given the fact that you are on the second floor of windows and all. All the same, you are pretty and I'm glad I don't have to water you.

My Book Sold!

Yay! And four from other artists sold also! 100% of the proceeds (minus fees and shipping go H.E.L.P International. For heaven sakes, go see the rest of the books before they all sell! Get yourself a purty book and help the cause of global literacy, too!

The wreckage

This is what happens when I'm working really hard on a project. Especially one where most of my work is done at my desk. Yikes. At any rate, I helped launch the charity event at the BEST books bookbinding team. If you buy one of the delightful handbound books that have been created by the artisans in our group, 100% of the proceeds (minus shipping and fees, of course) will be donated to charity.

So, don't mind my mess...it's for charity!

Crazy Bones

The little critters have a new low-brow obsession. Crazy Bones. At least, we can probably retire the NASCAR channel for awhile. I keep pushing the Opera, but there are no takers.

If you're like me, and I know I am, you know nothing about Crazy Bones. The little critters came home from school raving about them several times in the past couple of months, but I thought nothing of it. Just another one of those things to look up in the that fantasmical source of (mis)information that is Wikipedia. So, for Valentines Day, one of the little critters came home with two Crazy Bones attached to Valentine cards. So, now that we own two of these odd little things, I decided to find out just what all the hoopla was about.

"The Wiki" (oh, I'm such a lingo-user!) had this to say about Crazy Bones, "Crazy Bones are small, plastic figurines that became a popular fad during the 1990s and 2000s. Crazy Bones were inspired by a game played in Ancient Greece called astragals, where children played with sheep's knucklebones. This ancient pastime is also known as Tabas. Crazy Bones is a modernization of this game that is made of characters moulded from plastic. There were hundreds of individual characters, each character had a unique face and name. The different shapes of the figures caused them to bounce in different patterns, making some crazy bones more advantageous to own. Crazy Bones, like the earlier, were banned in many schools, because of being the start of many playground arguments and being a distraction during class."

Well dang, if they are a distraction during class then we had better buy some, stat. So we did. I think the funniest thing about Crazy Bones is that they don't exactly *look* like anything. They kind of look like a chunk of bright, molded plastic. I know that in some way, they are supposed to be figurines, but I just don't see it.

Here's a picture, you be the judge.

Oh, and the packaging for the Crazy Bones includes this phrase (in all caps), "CRAZY BONES ARE TOYS AND SHOULD NOT BE EATEN". I nearly fell over laughing about that one.

Hold the Pickle, Hold the Lettuce

It's a special order. And I guess you had to be alive in the '70s to get that reference. At any rate, thank you Cindy from Designs With Attitude (psssst...check out her lovely dichroic glass)!

Additionally, either I'm getting a migraine or this picture is slightly blurry. Oh well, can't retake as tags are on their way to Illinois.

We Need More Gerbils!

To run on those little wheels and turn those turbines. Cuz we got no ‘lectricity. This is the fourth power outage this evening. It happened just as I was ironing a shirt for tomorrow and watching Ace of Cakes. Damn…and I so do love it, the ironing.

The House that Spite Built

A spite house is a house built to spite someone. This house was originally constructed by a frustrated bricklayer named John Hollensbury, who wanted to keep carriages and loiterers out of the narrow alley next to his rowhouse. I learned this on the Washington Post website where I read this article. Fascinating stuff. Those colonial dudes really knew how to turn anger into action, no? But I guess I can relate...I've dealt with some crazy neighbor stuff here in Alexandria. Like domestic disputes in the alley at 2 am. 15 feet from my bed. Or 6 guys on cell phones at midnight sitting in the park 10 feet from my front door. Talking loudly. On a school night. Waking sleeping children. I'm telling you, if I could build a house over that darn park, I would. Spite it all, anyway.

So, this house is 7 feet wide. It is two stories high and It is 340 square feet. I'm betting that they do not have a giant sectional in the living room.

I really dig this house, don't you? Not for me and my whole family, but how about for me and my partner-in-crime when we retire in about a million years? Would we not love a cute little house like this? We would. And we would be very nice to our neighbors so as not to raise up any lingering spiteful feelings. Yes, and we would bring offerings of baked goods. Regularly. And be very quiet. And not the least bit spiteful.

More Paint in the Tray

If I recall correctly, I combed this one a couple more times to get a more complicated pattern. The color combo was striking with the apple green, orange, black, periwinkle and fuschia. I'll have to look in my unlisted inventory to see what I ended up making with it.

This picture was taken on my last night in this studio, which was an insulated garage. I don't have studio space right now and I'm searching desperately. Well, mostly I'm just missing my paints and trying to open my new store right now. I have a few ideas for studio space but have not had the time to explore any of them yet.

How to be more interesting

Straight from the ETSY forums, the G-Rated version (appropriate for ages 7 and under) (guaranteed to make the 5-7 set laugh hysterically but the 3 year olds just don't get it yet)

be secretive
get a hobby...even if it is collecting erasers
Wear an eyecatching hat
throw your tv away
wear your hair really big
say goodbye in different languages
read
dress mysteriously
wear a cape
learn magic tricks
get a weird tattoo or piercing
say "good morning all" day long
wear one color only. (Bonus if it's not black.)
learn to tap dance
be passionate about something
wear funny pants. every day
read books about the economy
travel
wear clown shoes
become a good cook
wear mismatched plaid pants and shirt
sing in another language while at the Post Office
call Everyone "Cap'n"
carry bacon in your pocket
be a good listener
try new foods
do random mime things on the street
sell everything you own and move to another country...a faraway one
carry around a frog
sit down cross-legged in the elevator
learn sign language
teach your dog to talk
pull your underwear up to your chest
get a pet monkey
carry a sock puppet with you wherever you go and speak entirely through it
wear a fake mustache
dye your hair pink
learn to play the banjo
drive a car painted like a holstein cow
wear your underwear on the outside of your clothes
finish every sentence with the phrase "the end"
sing everything you say
carry a puppy, people will flock to you
find a new and bizarre word every day to add to your vocabulary
exaggerate
mutter to yourself then laugh
skip everywhere
wear a top hat
tell everyone you are working on a novel (and have it be true)
wear a t-shirt with a picture of yourself
buy lots of art
wear glittery pants

Etsy...the place for very good lists.